Thursday, February 28, 2013

The Dream

I think everybody has one. It's that one dream that's always kind of in the back of your head, and no matter how irrational it may sound, no matter whether the chances of your achieving it are slim to none, it still just sits there. Maybe you pull it out every once in a while, just to admire, but you can never let it go. For me, that dream is a little bookstore/coffeeshop nestled in between the post office and the dog groomer on a sunny tree lined street. I can smell it: the rich aroma of coffee mingling with that unmistakeable, slightly sweet scent of new books. I can see it: the round tables with comfy chairs and a fireplace in one corner. The shelves of books, new and used, a rainbow of spines. The sunset streaming in through the windows making warm blocks on the wood floor. I can hear the soft chatter, the whisper of book pages, the clattering and foaming of hot drinks being prepared. I know it'll never happen, but that doesn't mean I'll stop dreaming it. It's not so much that I'm hoping it'll come true as it makes me happy to picture. What's your favorite dream?

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

When the Words Don't Come

Do you ever have days or weeks or even months like that? Where you sit at the computer or with a notebook in front of you and there are so many words inside of you but not one of them can make its way from your brain to your fingers? I've been struggling with it for a few weeks now. There are so many emotions roiling around in my head, so many different thoughts flitting from here to there, but not one of them will form itself into a short concise paragraph. As the ever-brilliant John Green said through Augustus Waters, "My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations." There are really so many things I'd like to say, the only problem is that I just can't put my finger on how to say them.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Happy Birthday, You Little Goober.

It's my brother's birthday today. He's 17 and I can hardly believe it. As annoying as he can be and as much as he antagonizes me, as cliche as this sounds, he really is one of my best friends. We have late night conversations after  I get home from work. We have hundreds of little inside jokes and we can be absolutely crazy around each other. We vent our frustrations to each other and he understands me like few other people. We confide in each other when our parents start to get to us or when we're having doubts or feeling insecure. We play cards and Monopoly together on lazy summer afternoons.
We make cocoa on cold snow-day afternoons. We watch movies and eat popcorn on quiet weekends. As much as we may pretend not to stand each other, I don't know what I would do without him.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Where You Find Yourself

 I find myself so many different places. In the dog-eared pages marking my favorite spots of my favorite books. In the stacks of dusty journals with my twelve-year-old scrawl under my bed. In the small chip on the handle of my favorite coffee mug. In the smudges on the screen of my laptop. In the small man made of twistie ties hanging from the rear view mirror of my car. In the small stain on the sleeve of my favorite sweater. Each of these things and more is a reflection of me, who I was at a certain time in my life, and ultimately who I am today because of it. Sometimes I can't help feeling nostalgic about even the smallest things. Where do you find yourself?

Saturday, February 9, 2013

I Could Almost Be A Morning Person

 There's just something about it. Once I get past the waking up part, I really do enjoy mornings. I enjoy the peace and quiet, the calm of taking a few moments to drink some tea or coffee and eat some breakfast before the chaos of the day. I love the way the air feels fresher in the morning, and everything looks a little brighter. On wintry mornings I savor the drive to work or school with the sunrise to my back and the fresh clean world spread out before me. In summer there's nothing better than footprints in the dewy grass and the scents of yellow and green surrounding me. I love the feeling of having your whole day before you, fresh and "with no mistakes in it" as Anne Shirley would say. Quite honestly if mornings didn't come so early I'd be their biggest fan.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

A Happy Post

You may remember this letter, or this snippet, or the part of my new years post in which I mentioned a certain someone. Ever since I met him about a year and a half ago, we started to develop this great friendship. I discovered that we had a lot of things in common. We recommended books to each other. We fell in love with the same bands. Every day that we spent time together we'd make a new inside joke somehow. I felt like I could talk to him about pretty much anything. Soon enough I realized that the things I felt for him went beyond friendship. I didn't say anything, because if the feelings weren't mutual I didn't want to lose him as a friend. A few weeks ago, though, he admitted to feeling some of the same things about me. I had a hard time convincing myself that it was even true. It was, though. So far not much in our relationship has changed, but I'm happy to take things one day at a time and work things out slowly. For now, he makes me smile, and that's enough. So, that's the story of a boy and a girl and the proof that sometimes dreams do come true.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Just That Time of Year

I guess it is just that time of year. Those months between New Year's Day and the first warm day of Spring. They always leave me in a bit of a fog, feeling uncreative and unmotivated. At least, that's the excuse I'm going to use for neglecting this little blog of mine. I've started and scrapped a good number of posts, because nothing comes out right. I haven't forgotten you, I promise. When the weather warms up and the days start to grow longer again, hopefully the sunshine will bring me some motivation. For now, though, just know that I am still here, hibernating if you will.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Oh, Hey February!

Well, it's that time of year again. February is always when I start to get the blahs. It always feels like winter has overstayed its welcome, and there are just enough of warm days to tantalize me. It makes me yearn for spring. Here's some of what this month holds:
-Watching the Super Bowl on Sunday with some friends and a certain someone (but more on that later)
-Doing my observations in a preschool and an elementary school for my Arts and Play class. Little kids never fail to make me smile.
-A few warm days (hopefully) (and by warm, I mean above freezing. 40s would be nice.)
-Finishing up the Percy Jackson books
-More adventures with my friends (always)

What does February hold for you?