On Worry

 It's something that I struggle with a lot. Like, a lot a lot. If it can be worried about, I'm worrying. I worry about tests, I worry when my family members are driving long distances, I worry about first days and presentations and big life events. It's a near constant in my life, something I struggle with almost daily. It makes my stomach upset and I can't concentrate on anything.
I'm sure many of you also struggle occasionally with worry. I think it comes when we forget to leave things in God's hands and try to wrangle everything on our own, even though we can't. We weren't meant to. It can be a difficult thing to overcome, but its not impossible. Some verses I remember when I'm feeling stressed and worried:

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

Luke 12:26

Do not worry about anything. Instead in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Phillipians 4:6-7

Worry is so difficult to overcome, especially for me, but with God it is possible. As hard as it is, we need to remember to surrender our worries to him.

♥♥Kristin

And Yet

 It's amazing really, when you think about it. The way God cares so deeply for us. I'm impulsive. Outspoken. My phone needs an "are you sure you want to send this message?" button. I don't read my Bible often enough. I think too often about things that shouldn't even cross my mind. I relish my anger when I should be letting it go.

And yet.

This fact remains: God loves me more than I can even imagine. He sent His son to die on the cross for these sins and more. For people that don't even acknowledge Him or His gift. And that absolutely blows me away. I don't deserve love anywhere close to that. And yet there He is. I can't begin to describe how grateful I am.

I am the sweat from Your brow, but You love me anyway.
I am the thorn in Your crown, but You love me anyway.
I am the nails in Your wrist, but You love me anyway.
I am Judas's kiss, but You love me anyway.

♥♥Kristin

Things Books Have Taught Me

via

As a voracious reader, I have learned quite a few things from books that go beyond the knowledge they contain.
1. Some of the best books start off slowly. The same applies in life: don't give up, and you'll be rewarded with a fantastic plot line, or if you're lucky, a fairy-tale ending.
2. No matter how much you may want to keep reliving the comfort of familiar words, you have to turn the page to find out what happens next.
3.  When one chapter is over it may feel like the end, but there's a new one unfolding and who knows? It may just make everything worthwhile.
4. You're not going to like every book and that's okay, because for every book out there that isn't worth your time, there are a dozen that are.
5. Here's the cliche one I'm sure you all knew was coming (that doesn't make it any less true): You really can't judge a book by it's cover: bent pages, cracked spines and horrendous movie remake covers can house the story that may change your life.

♥♥Kristin

The Word of the Year

 You know how some bloggers choose a single word that they keep in lieu of a New Year's resolution? Since I'm not very good at keeping resolutions (Many of my birthday resolutions have already fallen by the wayside) I decided to try it this year. I've been thinking about this for all of five minutes, but I know without a doubt what my word is going to be. It's by no means a new concept for me and it's not unfamiliar around this little blog of mine. In fact, it's the title: the word I've chosen for 2013 is serendipity.

This year I want to just embrace life. As I've said so many times before, everything is so wonderful right now. Rather than try to change it I want to learn to appreciate it more. To smile at the little things. To step back and just admire the beauty of life, to take in the simplicity rather than try to complicate it. This year I want to prove that life was made for living.
♥♥Kristin

The Hopeless Romantic.

via

 That's really what I am though at times I try so hard to hide it. I'm a real sucker for mushy stories and happy endings. I want to be kissed on the forehead and/or in the rain. I want someone to text me the first thing when he wakes up just to say good morning. I want someone who will come up behind me and give me surprise hugs. I want special smiles just for me. I want someone who will come to visit me at work just because he couldn't wait to see me. I want someone who will hold my hand while we walk and put his arm around me when we're watching a movie. I want "that guy" to admit that he's just as crazy about me as I am about him. I want all of that cliche stuff and then some. I want happily ever after and sometimes it's hard for me to remember that life isn't always a fairy tale. It doesn't always turn out the way we want and that's okay. There's nothing wrong with romance so long as you remember not to let it consume you. Be a hopeful romantic but don't let reality bring you down.
♥♥Kristin

What Am I?

**This post is in response to some things I've seen on blogger, tumblr and facebook lately that have really made me consider this question**

 I've realized that for so long I've been trying to figure out where I fit in society, which prefabricated label suits me the best. Am I mainstream? Hipster? Poser? No. I'm just Kristin. I love to laugh, I'm a hopeless romantic, I inhale words, I listen to music, I have the greatest friends in the world, the smallest things make me smile the biggest, and right now life is lovely. That's me. I don't need a label to define who I am.
♥♥Kristin

When You're Feeling Down.

I don't know about you, but when I'm feeling down nothing cheers me up or encourages me like music. In particular, contemporary Christian music. I don't exactly know what it is. I suppose it's some combination of the catchy tune and heartfelt lyrics. There are days when I'm feeling discouraged or overwhelmed or just a little disappointed when all I want to do is crawl back in bed and sleep for the rest of the day. On these kinds of days, usually all it takes is listening to the radio as I drive or listening to my mp3 player while I do my homework to help me feel better again. Here are some songs that have been meaning a lot to me lately:
Wait and See by Brandon Heath: especially the line, "Still wondering why I'm here, still wrestling with my fear but oh, He's up to something." It reminds me that no matter how discouraged I may feel, how out of place, God is still working in me.
Arms That Hold the Universe by Fee: This entire song just reminds me that no matter what I'm going through, God is holding me.
Even If by Kutless: Even if everything doesn't work out the way we'd like, God is still God.
Your Love Never Fails by Jesus Culture: The title makes it obvious: God's love never fails.
You Love Me Anyway by Sidewalk Prophets: No matter how many times I screw up, God loves me anyway.
I could share more, but you get the idea. When you're feeling down, sometimes all you need is to listen to a few songs and remember that it won't last forever.
♥♥Kristin

Who I am and Who I've Been.

Today I've been feeling rather retrospective. Maybe it's the weather, maybe it's my upcoming birthday, and maybe it's a combination of the two. Every year when my birthday swings around again, I can't help but think about where I was on my past birthday. This year especially, there have been quite a few changes. Last year I was only a few months into my senior year of high school, eyeball-deep in AP Biology and AP English. I'm still eyeball-deep in homework, but now I'm a high school graduate in college. When I think about where I imagined I'd be, it was not exactly this. I thought I'd be going away to the school of my dreams, possibly rooming there with my best friend and generally having the time of my life. Instead, I am still living at home and attending community college. If I knew this was where I would be a year ago, it probably would have upset me, but right now I can honestly say that I am content with where I am. My life isn't perfect, but when is it ever? In the past year I've formed new friendships and strengthened old ones. I've taken photos, I've written pages upon pages, and overall become more me than I've ever been before. I've learned a lot about who I am as a person, my sense of style and my sense of humor, the way I relate to people and the way I am maybe a little bit of a dork and maybe that's okay. I think that the biggest part of becoming yourself is accepting that that person is who you are going to become, and that's what I've done in the past year: accepted the dorky, introspective, tea-drinking reader, thinker and sometimes-writer that I am. I'm slowly but surely moving past my insecurities that I struggled so much with in the past years. Finally being content with the person you're becoming has to be one of the best feelings in the world.
♥♥Kristin

Constant.

{via}

Lately I've noticed something about myself. I've always hated change, this much I know to be true. The thing I've noticed is that whenever I'm going through a big change, like this transition to college, I choose one thing that has remained constant in my life and cling to that. The familiarity brings me comfort, something to hold onto when it feels like the world is unsteady beneath my feet. Right now, strangely enough, that thing has been my job. The people there are familiar while I'm in classes full of strange faces and names that I don't know at school. The work is the same as it always was (I'm a cashier at a grocery store) even when I'm facing strange math problems and English descriptive essays. It's strange, the things people choose to cling to, the constants of life. I realize that the one thing that I should be clinging to, the constant of all constants, is God. My job could be gone tomorrow, but He will truly be there forever. He'll never fail me, but too often I forget that and feel utterly alone in the world. He's really the only constant I'll ever need if I just remember to turn to Him.
♥♥Kristin.

Wishful Thinking.

{{via}}

It's something to which everyone falls prey at one point or another. Me? I catch myself a few times a day. It's so easy to do, and maybe it's harmless. You think, "She's so pretty. Maybe if my hair was as straight as hers..." or "He just smiled at me. If only he'd ask me out..." or even, "Wow. I wish I had a cell phone like that..." The harm comes when you let it take over your life, when you let it stop you from being happy because you're too busy wishing about tomorrow instead of enjoying today. Today is your most precious resource, and if you waste it with your head in your hands obsessing over what ifs, you have no one but yourself to blame. Sometimes the if-onlys are hard to shake, but I find what helps me is taking your if-onlys and turning them around. "You have curly hair, and didn't you hear her complaining just the other day that her hair won't hold curls for an hour?" or "He actually smiled at you. Talk to him, and tell your heart to shut up for a few minutes." or "You have money to go to the movies with your friends this weekend because you're not paying an arm and a leg every month for a data plan on one of those fancy smartphones." I'm not saying this is by any means foolproof, and I'm not saying that it's going to be easy. All I'm saying is that it's going to be worth it in the end.
♥♥Kristin

Now Here's What I Think.

{source: white paper quotes on tumblr}

I recently found this quote on Tumblr, and it really resonated with me. I don't mean to offend anyone with this post, please remember this is solely my opinion on the matter. The quote just really made me think about all of the I'm-a-hipster-I'm-gonna-write-a-book-and-make-great-art-and-the-world-will-love-me stuff that's been floating around lately. Not just on blogger, but in my "real world" as well. I understand the wanting to have people swoon over what you write or photograph or make. I'm sure everyone feels this way. I just think that some people take it a step too far. They write poem after poem and post photo after photo, always expecting the highest praise. The thing to remember is that not everyone can be famous. More importantly, you don't need to be famous to be successful or happy or even talented. Don't spend all of your life pouring yourself into poems and photos and paintings when you could be pouring yourself into you. In the end, what matters is not what you wrote or made, what matters is how you lived your life. Please don't forget that. Your happiness is not dependent upon the approval of others. Do what makes you happy, do what you know is right, be yourself and the rest will come. I'm not saying that you shouldn't write, photograph, or make art. If you love to write, then write. If you love to paint, then paint. Not for the world, but for you. Be the most beautiful poem you can be.
♥♥Kristin

The Hardest Thing To Remember.

{Source}

This ^^ is, for me, probably one of the hardest lessons to remember. I'm a worrier. I get it from my dad. The moment something starts to veer from the path I think it should take, I begin to envision the worst case scenario and dwell on it obsessively. I can't count how many times this has happened to me. Right now, the reason is that I am scrambling to sign up for my college courses on time because I am waiting for my clearances to be mailed to me. I keep thinking, "How am I going to get everything ready in time? What if I can't sign up for the classes I need and then have to take them at another campus? My boss is never going to be able to figure out my work schedule if I don't even know when my classes are!" And, cue *freaking out*. The thing I always fail to remember, or at least fail to consider, is that every other time I've let my irrational fears take over, everything has worked out okay, or even better than okay. I cannot remember one time when my expectations of such a situation have actually become reality. Things always work themselves out if I just give them time and keep calm. That simple fact should be enough to keep my fears at bay. Every time this happens, I give myself this very same pep talk. Maybe, someday, I'll listen and take my own advice.
♥♥Kristin