A Confession

Can I admit something? I am absolutely terrified that somehow, someday, out of the blue, something horrible will happen and my world will never be the same. I try to reassure myself, I pray about it almost constantly, but the fear still manages to creep in. I read posts about people getting cancer and dying, I hear about fatal car crashes in the news, and I can't help but worry that something like that will happen to someone I love. When The Boy doesn't text me soon after he gets home, I start to panic. When my Mom is a little late from work, I have to fight the urge to send her a text or call her. When my brother is at a late night movie with friends I cannot fall asleep until I hear him come in the door.
I know that it's a horrible way to live, but sometimes I just can't help it. The world can be such a terrifying place. It's hard to remember sometimes that my God is bigger than all this, that He will keep me and the ones I love safe (unless it is otherwise in His greater plan). Trust is hardest for me. I feel like I have to hold the weight of the world on my shoulders, and I forget too often that He took it upon himself for me. Remembering is hard, but I'm trying.

♥♥Kristin

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

 It was snowing and blowing today, the perfect day to sit inside with a good book, a fuzzy blanket and a cup of hot chocolate. It really cemented in my mind that Christmas is only fifteen days away. Fifteen, people! This is my favorite time of year. I love the way it just feels different than the rest of the year. More cheerful and bright. Christmas music is playing everywhere. Lights on every house make the night a little less dark. Happiness is everywhere. Tidings of comfort and joy. Charlie Brown Christmas trees (mine is sitting on my desk right now!).
 What's your favorite part of Christmas?
♥♥Kristin

Hello Again

It's been almost a month and a half since I've even thought about this little blog. I would love to get back into blogging again if you'll have me back. I think that little hiatus was really what I needed, because I was digging myself into a pretty deep rut. Here's a bit of an update on what I've been up to these past few months:

School has pretty much consumed my life. I've been writing papers and history outlines, struggling through pages of math homework and studying for tests and quizzes. I've barely had time to keep up with The Book Chewers, much less this little blog. When I haven't been at school or working, I've been spending a lot of time with The Boy. I have also been caught up with watching Netflix (but really, what did we do without it?) as well as feeding my Pinterest addiction. It's a problem, people.

In any case, I really am planning to be much more active here, especially considering that after the next week of finals I will have a month off of school. I truly have missed writing (which I have done entirely too little of lately) and sharing with you guys. I plan to make some seasonal themed posts (because Christmas time is my favorite time) as well as little tidbits of life posts. In short, I plan to pick up right where I left off, and I'm so happy to be back.

♥♥ Kristin

Book Chewers Linkup

I don't get to do these very often because I'm busy busy busy (Christmas break can't come soon enough) but this one sounded too fun not to do!

Here's the prompt: What are your favorite book covers? Why do you like them? Because it's simple, brightly-colored, mysterious? Make a list of at least three and explain why you like them!

It's going to be so difficult to choose just three! But, here goes...

This. This this this. This. I just recently discovered this cover, while writing my post over on The Book Chewers about Anne book covers. And I fell in love. It's just gorgeous that's all. I can't even think of any other reason that I like it so much. I think that pretty much says it all.

This is one of those covers that kind of makes more sense after you read the book. To me it's a really accurate picture of the way she just seems to pour the words from her coffee cup in her letter to Ed (which is essentially what the book is).

I had such a hard time picking a third one since there are just so many! But this is another one that I thought makes so much sense once you've read the book. The tiny plant growing up out of the hard, cold, snowy ground says so much about Lina during her time in the camp.

Feel free to link up yourself! They're always tons of fun.

The One on Anxiety

Anxiety is something I struggle with every day, nearly every moment. I've always thought of it as a form of depression though I'm not sure whether this is the case. If you're also someone who suffers from anxiety, then I'm sure you'd sympathize with me. If you're not, I know how hard it can be to understand what it's like (I've experienced this firsthand because, as much as The Boy tries to sympathize with me, he somehow never makes me feel much better).

I'll try to describe what it's like (for me, anyway. I'm sure it comes in different forms for everyone). have you heard the phrase "You're making a mountain out of a molehill"? Well, that's what I do. I make mountains out of molehills until I'm surrounded by mountains so high I can't see out. Every little thing becomes monumental. The smallest things completely stress me out. At one point I became extremely angry over something incredibly insignificant and of course afterwards it seemed silly but at the time my emotions were huge and very real. I will become almost physically ill. There are times when all I want to do is go home, lay in my bed, and just cry. I have good days, and I have bad days (the good days outnumber the bad).

Overcoming it is a constant struggle. Along with the intensity of it all, I think that's what's hardest for those looking in to grasp. It's not just one decision when you get up in the morning not to worry for the rest of the day. It's a mantra in your head whenever you start having a moment, telling yourself everything will be okay, praying the same few words over and over, fighting it until the feeling goes away. And this is sometimes multiple times in one day. It isn't easy.

It's a battle that I fight nearly every day, and I'm here to say that it can be won, at least on a daily basis. I don't know if it's something that ever goes away. It hasn't for me. What I do know is that you can control it, and you mustn't let it control you, easy as it is to give in.

That's my personal experience, and I felt led to share it, so hopefully it helps someone else.

♥♥Kristin

Taylor Swift Was Wrong.

Loving you is not red. It never was. Loving you is the most brilliant blue of a late fall sky. Loving you is the yellow of the golden hour when summer is young. Loving you is the cool green of a forest that stretches uninterrupted for miles. Loving you is the crisp white of a brand new snowfall, untouched by grey humanity. Loving you is the cheerful orange glow of a campfire's embers. Loving you is the flashing silver underside of a minnow as it glides through a creek. Loving you is every color imaginable splashed across my heart, filling me in more ways than one. Loving you is color like I've never known.

Hey There

I know, it's been a while. Honestly, I haven't felt very inspired to write much on this little blog lately. I do not, by any means, want to give it up. I enjoy this blog a lot and it's a great creative outlet. All I'm saying is that I'm going to step back, and there may be large intervals between posts. I have a lot on my plate right now what with The Book Chewers and school and my job. This isn't goodbye, just I'll be seeing you. I may post once or twice a month but frequency (as I'm sure you've noticed) is going to be significantly declined. I hope this doesn't make you un-follow me, but I also understand that consistency is important. Hopefully you'll be sticking around, because even I don't know what's in store for this little place.
♥♥ Kristin