Can I admit something? I am absolutely terrified that somehow, someday, out of the blue, something horrible will happen and my world will never be the same. I try to reassure myself, I pray about it almost constantly, but the fear still manages to creep in. I read posts about people getting cancer and dying, I hear about fatal car crashes in the news, and I can't help but worry that something like that will happen to someone I love. When The Boy doesn't text me soon after he gets home, I start to panic. When my Mom is a little late from work, I have to fight the urge to send her a text or call her. When my brother is at a late night movie with friends I cannot fall asleep until I hear him come in the door.
I know that it's a horrible way to live, but sometimes I just can't help it. The world can be such a terrifying place. It's hard to remember sometimes that my God is bigger than all this, that He will keep me and the ones I love safe (unless it is otherwise in His greater plan). Trust is hardest for me. I feel like I have to hold the weight of the world on my shoulders, and I forget too often that He took it upon himself for me. Remembering is hard, but I'm trying.