Tuesday, December 17, 2013

A Confession

Can I admit something? I am absolutely terrified that somehow, someday, out of the blue, something horrible will happen and my world will never be the same. I try to reassure myself, I pray about it almost constantly, but the fear still manages to creep in. I read posts about people getting cancer and dying, I hear about fatal car crashes in the news, and I can't help but worry that something like that will happen to someone I love. When The Boy doesn't text me soon after he gets home, I start to panic. When my Mom is a little late from work, I have to fight the urge to send her a text or call her. When my brother is at a late night movie with friends I cannot fall asleep until I hear him come in the door.
I know that it's a horrible way to live, but sometimes I just can't help it. The world can be such a terrifying place. It's hard to remember sometimes that my God is bigger than all this, that He will keep me and the ones I love safe (unless it is otherwise in His greater plan). Trust is hardest for me. I feel like I have to hold the weight of the world on my shoulders, and I forget too often that He took it upon himself for me. Remembering is hard, but I'm trying.


1 comment:

  1. I definitely know how you feel. I'm like this sometimes.. off and on I guess.
    I guess that's just where faith steps in ya know.. like you said, He'll keep you safe unless its out of His will. One time in Bible study we were talking about this and later that week, my bible study leader tweeted the summed up version of what I said, and I love how she put it together :) "Being hurt in God's will is better than being protected outside of His will." :)
    Either way, God has a plan in everything; even those that may seem bad at the time. :)
    tbh I hate commenting stuff like this cause I feel like such a knowitallwannabe ;) but i hope you can tell its not like that, haha :D


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