Monday, October 14, 2013

The One on Anxiety

Anxiety is something I struggle with every day, nearly every moment. I've always thought of it as a form of depression though I'm not sure whether this is the case. If you're also someone who suffers from anxiety, then I'm sure you'd sympathize with me. If you're not, I know how hard it can be to understand what it's like (I've experienced this firsthand because, as much as The Boy tries to sympathize with me, he somehow never makes me feel much better).

I'll try to describe what it's like (for me, anyway. I'm sure it comes in different forms for everyone). have you heard the phrase "You're making a mountain out of a molehill"? Well, that's what I do. I make mountains out of molehills until I'm surrounded by mountains so high I can't see out. Every little thing becomes monumental. The smallest things completely stress me out. At one point I became extremely angry over something incredibly insignificant and of course afterwards it seemed silly but at the time my emotions were huge and very real. I will become almost physically ill. There are times when all I want to do is go home, lay in my bed, and just cry. I have good days, and I have bad days (the good days outnumber the bad).

Overcoming it is a constant struggle. Along with the intensity of it all, I think that's what's hardest for those looking in to grasp. It's not just one decision when you get up in the morning not to worry for the rest of the day. It's a mantra in your head whenever you start having a moment, telling yourself everything will be okay, praying the same few words over and over, fighting it until the feeling goes away. And this is sometimes multiple times in one day. It isn't easy.

It's a battle that I fight nearly every day, and I'm here to say that it can be won, at least on a daily basis. I don't know if it's something that ever goes away. It hasn't for me. What I do know is that you can control it, and you mustn't let it control you, easy as it is to give in.

That's my personal experience, and I felt led to share it, so hopefully it helps someone else.


1 comment:

  1. This was probably hard to write and you didn't have to, so thanks for sharing. :)


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