Lately I've been thinking an awful lot about my faith, where I am and what it truly means to me. I was born in a Christian family and I am a Christian. I accepted Christ as my savior when I was 7 or 8. I was baptized when I was 13. I have gone to church every Sunday and youth group every Wednesday and on missions trips every Summer. I'd say I have a fairly extensive knowledge of the Bible. I have strong morals and am what would be considered rather conservative. I'm pro-life. I value modesty and purity. The problem is that that's really where it ends. Too often I feel like I'm just going through the familiar motions. I don't really feel like I have a personal relationship with God. I don't have that spark. I often neglect to read my Bible and prayer is so difficult for me. This is the faith I was born into and it's all so familiar and average to me that I can't get excited about it. I know that this is not where I'm supposed to be and I tell myself that every day, but the motivation to change just isn't in me. I want so badly to change that and I guess that today is as good a day as any. I'm hoping that getting this all down, getting it out, will be the motivation I need to finally make the change for the better. I'm certainly going to try.
♥♥Kristin
I know exactly how you feel, because I feel the exact same way. It really is hard to make your faith your own when it's all you've known your whole life. I've tried so many times to change and it's really hard, but I know that eventually, we'll both get it down. Just stick with it and trust God, and I'm sure you (and I) will get there. :-)
ReplyDeleteI understand how you feel. It can be tricky to get to that place where you do feel that "spark" as you mentioned. What I've learned is that it's not about making yourself change, it's not about making habits to pray and read the Bible, it's not about feeling like you are wrong. It's all about simply falling in love with God. Because when you love someone, you'll do anything to spend more time with them. Prayer time and study time becomes sought after.
ReplyDeleteI would recommend reading the book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. He talks about what you are describing. I'm only barely grasping this concept myself and it is amazing. I admire your humility and desire to know God!! Thanks for your honesty :) As a fellow believer I understand your feelings and what this is like.
Thanks, I'll definitely have to check that book out :)
DeleteReligion and God, I believe are completely different.
ReplyDeleteIf you're religiously aware, you know what God means to the others, on the other hand, knowing God personally is different.
It is about trusting yourself with a belief, that the belief would turn out right.
Hey Kristin! Thank you for being so honest, it's sometimes so hard to admit that you aren't where you'd like to be in God! I don't really have much to say except this...be reminded that he loves you beyond measure. Be reminded of his incredible love for you today and don't be afraid to sit in his presence with a worship song on and just revell in the moment. God draws close to those who draw close in him! You are awesome and the God of the universe is longing for an intimate relationship with you. Be blessed and reminded of his love today!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, it means a lot :)
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