It's That Time of Year

It's that time of year again. The time when I get that itch in the corner of my heart to go, see, and do. Normally I'm pretty content to be right where I'm at, but as the days start to get warmer and I'm shedding my cozy layers, I get wanderlust on the brain.

The Lake District

There are so many places I'd like to go. I want to go to England and visit the Lake District. I have ever since I watched Miss Potter (On a side note, highly recommend. That movie is beautiful. Maybe I'll do a post on it sometime...). I want to go to Spain and visit Seville. I want to eat gelato in Italy by the Mediterranean. I want to see Angel Falls in Venezuela. I want to tour a lighthouse in Maine. I want to run my hand across the bark of a Redwood tree in California. I want to hike through a misty forest in Washington.

There's so much I want to see and do, so many places I want to go, that I know there isn't time for all of it.  Still, a girl can dream.

A Confession

Can I admit something? I am absolutely terrified that somehow, someday, out of the blue, something horrible will happen and my world will never be the same. I try to reassure myself, I pray about it almost constantly, but the fear still manages to creep in. I read posts about people getting cancer and dying, I hear about fatal car crashes in the news, and I can't help but worry that something like that will happen to someone I love. When The Boy doesn't text me soon after he gets home, I start to panic. When my Mom is a little late from work, I have to fight the urge to send her a text or call her. When my brother is at a late night movie with friends I cannot fall asleep until I hear him come in the door.
I know that it's a horrible way to live, but sometimes I just can't help it. The world can be such a terrifying place. It's hard to remember sometimes that my God is bigger than all this, that He will keep me and the ones I love safe (unless it is otherwise in His greater plan). Trust is hardest for me. I feel like I have to hold the weight of the world on my shoulders, and I forget too often that He took it upon himself for me. Remembering is hard, but I'm trying.

♥♥Kristin

Hello Again

It's been almost a month and a half since I've even thought about this little blog. I would love to get back into blogging again if you'll have me back. I think that little hiatus was really what I needed, because I was digging myself into a pretty deep rut. Here's a bit of an update on what I've been up to these past few months:

School has pretty much consumed my life. I've been writing papers and history outlines, struggling through pages of math homework and studying for tests and quizzes. I've barely had time to keep up with The Book Chewers, much less this little blog. When I haven't been at school or working, I've been spending a lot of time with The Boy. I have also been caught up with watching Netflix (but really, what did we do without it?) as well as feeding my Pinterest addiction. It's a problem, people.

In any case, I really am planning to be much more active here, especially considering that after the next week of finals I will have a month off of school. I truly have missed writing (which I have done entirely too little of lately) and sharing with you guys. I plan to make some seasonal themed posts (because Christmas time is my favorite time) as well as little tidbits of life posts. In short, I plan to pick up right where I left off, and I'm so happy to be back.

♥♥ Kristin

My Latest Obsession

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This show is Absolutely. Phenomenal. Next to Doctor Who, I'm pretty sure it's my favorite. In my opinion it's pretty underrated. If you haven't seen it, it's about an evil queen who curses all fairy tale characters to live in our world in a town called Storybrooke in Maine. They've forgotten who they were, and the only people who know the truth are the evil queen (who is the town's mayor, Regina Mills) Rumplestiltskin (who is the town pawnbroker and owner of many town buildings and is known as Mr. Gold) and Mayor Mills's adopted son Henry. Henry's real mother is the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming and the only one capable of breaking the curse. He finds her and brings her to Storybrooke, but she doesn't believe him when he tells her the story. Henry knows she's the only one with the power to break the curse so he does his best to make her believe. Each episode is a mash-up of the modern-day story and fairy-tale flashbacks slowly revealing the queen's and everyone else's backstory.

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This guy right here ^^ (Rumplestiltskin / Mr. Gold) is my favorite character hands down. I still haven't decided whether he's the good guy or the bad guy overall (though Rumple is "the dark one" in fairytale land...). His backstory is so intricate, and he's the character I can sympathize with the most out of all of them. The Boy thinks I'm crazy but I can't help but feel bad for the guy. If you've seen the show, you'd understand.

If you want to watch it, the first season is on Netflix and you can find all of the episodes (seasons 1 and 2) here. Don't say I didn't warn you if you find yourself watching one episode after another and neglecting to sleep or eat. And now, I leave you with...

6 Signs That You Watch Too Much Once Upon a Time (which may or may not apply to me):
1. You've started calling people "dearie" like Rumplestiltskin does
2. You've begun to wonder which fairy tale character the people around you are
3. You pretend you ARE a fairy tale character
4. You want to visit the woods in Maine because they look so beautiful
5. You begin to refer to bad things happening as "curses" even though you know that they don't exist and you believe that True Love's Kiss is really the cure for anything
And finally 6. You watch the show when you should be doing more important things like homework (on second thought, maybe I shouldn't encourage you to watch it)

♥♥Kristin

Organization Makes Me Giddy

I have slightly OCD tendencies with a penchant for organization. I just love it when everything is neat, orderly and in its place. I did my school shopping the other day and I spent the afternoon labeling all of my folders and notebooks, organizing my backpack and writing all of the days we don't have class in my planner. Then I just sat there and stared at the beauty of it all for a while. The sad part here is that I'm not even kidding.

When I actually have a house of my own, I'm probably going to go nuts. I'll probably take a couple of days and an expensive trip to Target and make a space for EVERYTHING. There will be bins and binders and shelves and everything will be in its place. It makes me feel all excited just thinking about it! I don't know if it's connected with my nerdish tendencies (probably) or separate somehow, but I do know that some people do not consider it normal. I've already been asked if I am OCD (the answer is no. Not officially). I just really like organizing things.
♥♥Kristin

Longing

I have this theory that every person has one season, one time of year, where they feel the most like themselves. The season when they feel the most alive. For me, that season is Fall. Actually, to be precise, it's the four month span of September through December. I just love the transition from the heat and the green to cool nights and colorful trees. I love the way time seems to slip by in blue skies and falling leaves until before I know it, it's Thanksgiving, the segue into the Christmas season. Soon the leaves have all fallen and the weather is getting colder - perfect for cups of tea to warm my fingers and cozy blankets and books. And then the Christmas season is in full swing: decorations and lights are everywhere and the whole world feels just a little bit more cheerful. I absolutely love everything about it. There's nothing quite like it.

And now here are some photos I've been aching over:

{all images via}

What is your favorite season?

♥♥Kristin

Dear Me,

{A letter to myself one year ago}

My dear, you're much too hard on yourself. I should know. You're not perfect; no one is. Just be you. That's all that matters. So much is going to happen this year, some good, some bad, but such is life. You'll start college and make a few new friends. Yes, you'll even lose a friend. But believe me when I say that it's going to hurt, but you'll get through it.You'll learn more about yourself and you'll learn more about your flaws. Some need to be embraced, and some need to be forgotten. You'll learn more about true friendship, and even true love. You'll prove yourself wrong and you'll prove yourself right. You'll read some fantastic books and you'll write some powerful words. The one thing I want you to remember is to keep things in perspective. It's never as bad as it seems, and the sun always comes up. I know you have a tendency to overreact but believe me when I say it's never helped anyone. Just keep your head up and a smile on your face and everything will be okay, I promise.

With all my love, 

You

Sometimes.

Sometimes things don't work out the way you want.
Sometimes life punches you right in the gut.
Sometimes all you want to do is curl up in a ball and shut out the world for a little bit, because it's the one problem you can't solve.
"It's always darkest before the dawn" they say, but in the darkness, you often wonder whether the dawn will ever come. 
But sometimes, life gives you hope.
Sometimes, when it starts to feel like you can't go on anymore, a small spark gives you a reason.
Sometimes a smile from a friend, a sunny morning or a piece of Grandma's chocolate cake can be just what you needed.
Sometimes hope comes when you least expect it.

I wrote the first part of this post a few weeks ago, back when it seemed nothing in my little world was going right. Now, looking back, I know that was a hard time for me. But I also see the little things that gave me hope. My friends. My family. The boy. Sunny days. Comfort food. Books. And I know it's so hard to remember, but the bad times don't last forever.
♥♥Kristin

TIme Flies When You're Having Fun.

As of Thursday, I finished my first year of college. It's a strange feeling, being finished with a whole year already. Didn't I just graduate from high school a month or two ago? It's funny how the days seem to go so slowly, but the months fly by so fast. Last year at this time, I was a senior, finishing up my last year of high school. Anticipating graduation. Slacking off on my schoolwork because it's what seniors do.

And now here I am. One year older, with a quarter of my college career under my belt. New friends. A boy who somehow became my boyfriend and best friend. Looking forward to a Summer full of backyard picnics, spontaneous day-trips, friendship, laughter and sunsets. And I can't wait.

♥♥Kristin

On Worry

 It's something that I struggle with a lot. Like, a lot a lot. If it can be worried about, I'm worrying. I worry about tests, I worry when my family members are driving long distances, I worry about first days and presentations and big life events. It's a near constant in my life, something I struggle with almost daily. It makes my stomach upset and I can't concentrate on anything.
I'm sure many of you also struggle occasionally with worry. I think it comes when we forget to leave things in God's hands and try to wrangle everything on our own, even though we can't. We weren't meant to. It can be a difficult thing to overcome, but its not impossible. Some verses I remember when I'm feeling stressed and worried:

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

Luke 12:26

Do not worry about anything. Instead in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Phillipians 4:6-7

Worry is so difficult to overcome, especially for me, but with God it is possible. As hard as it is, we need to remember to surrender our worries to him.

♥♥Kristin

Summer, Please Hurry

 I am more than excited for summer to get here. Fall may be my favorite season, but I've gone a little Summer-crazy for the moment. I only have two weeks of class left, and then I'm free for three and a half whole months. And what will I be doing for my three and a half months of freedom? I have no shortage of plans. Many of them involve my best friends and the boy. We're going to amusement parks, hiking, picnicking, swimming and just general frolicking. There are also at least two camping trips planned with my family. Of course I'm going to spend a lot of time reading, trying to catch up on my 50 book reading goal for this year (the current total? a measly 10 books).

And of course on top of the fun there is going to be quite a bit of working involved: on top of my current job, I plan on finding a second job because the extra cash would definitely be appreciated. I'll probably be working nearly every day this summer, but hopefully I can still make time for all of the wonderful plans I mentioned above. I have a feeling that this just might be the best summer yet.
♥♥Kristin

Love: My Definition

Well, perhaps "definition" isn't quite the right word for what I'm about to say. It's more like my take on what it means to me. But that was a little long for a title.
So many people have so many different ways to define love, and I honestly think that there is no one true definition. There are as many definitions as there are people. Here's what Webster has to say:
Love: n. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection as for a parent, child or friend.

And here's what God has to say:

 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.⁸ Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a)

What is it to me? Love is feeling perfectly comfortable with that person. It's laughing so hard you have tears running down your face. It's the fluttering in your stomach when you catch a glimpse of their face when you're not expecting it. It's the quivery feeling you get at night when you can't sleep because they're on your mind and the quiet emptiness you feel right after they leave. It's long conversations about the things that really matter. Love is all of this and so much more, and what makes love so special is the fact that you can't possibly put all of it into words.

♥♥Kristin

What Are You Smiling At?

 It's amazing how often I get asked that question. Usually, I'm not even aware that I am smiling, but there I sit with a goofy grin on my face. Usually my reply is "nothing" followed by blushing and looking down at my shoes because I've embarrassed myself again.
But then I wonder what AM I smiling at? And usually the answer is a conversation I had yesterday, the weather forecast for tomorrow, an inside joke that someone's words reminded me of. Something in my little world that makes my heart so happy that I can't help but show it. And as embarrassing as this strange habit is for me, I'm coming to realize that that's just who I am. A girl who can't help but smile because life makes her deliriously happy. And there's nothing wrong with that.
♥♥Kristin

A Year Ago Yesterday

On that day (March 23, 2012) I decided, rather abruptly, that I wanted to make a blog. I'd been reading a few blogs for some time (like Natalie Lloyd's and Katie's). I decided that it seemed like a pretty fun thing to do, so I started my blog, titled it "Confessions of a Self-Proclaimed Nerd" and wrote my first post. I started out with a cutest blog on the block template and posted like mad. This was my first header:

That title was very impromptu and I soon decided that I didn't like it as much as I thought I did. About a month later I changed its name to "The Great Perhaps", having been inspired by John Green's Looking for Alaska. Along with that I changed my url. I chose a new template, and this was my new header:

This one stuck for quite a bit longer, but then in October I changed it once again to it's current title, Serendipity. I feel that this title finally fits perfectly. After all, that's really what this little blog is about.

Over the year that I've been blogging, my style has changed a lot. I appreciate those of you that have stuck with me from the very beginning, figuring out what I want this blog to be. Now I think it is everything that I want it to be. I don't post as much, but I don't make as many frivolous posts either. Everything I post about, no matter how small, means so much to me. This blog, as the title and description state, is made up of all of the little things that make me happy, the things that make my little world go round. I love reading your comments and making connections with you over these things. There may not be very many of you, but I value each and every one of you reading this right now. You're part of why I love blogging so much. I'm looking forward to another year just as enjoyable as the past one.
♥♥Kristin

My Favorite Kind of Nature

This right here ^^ is my favorite kind of nature. My "wanderlust" board on pinterest is absolutely covered with trees and woods and sun-dappled forest floors. I love each of my family's many vacations to the mountains, be it spending time at the cabin or camping with my cousins or the annual church camping trip. I love the solitude, the sounds of birds chirping and squirrels chattering in the trees. I love the fresh, green smell and the way the sun filters through the leaves. There's nothing quite like spending time in the woods to erase my worries and make me feel at peace. There's no better way to spend an almost-Spring Sunday afternoon than traipsing through the trees, camera in hand, remembering what it's like to be free. The boy recently mentioned to me that he likes hiking as well, so this Sunday, after church, I believe we'll do just that.
♥♥Kristin

Our Story

 A little bit of my story with him so far

     It's strange, but with many of the people that I am closest to, I can't quite put my finger on the moment when they stopped being an acquaintance and started to become so much more in my little life. I can remember the before, and I'm living in the after, but the middle is just a blur to me. It was the same with him. I can ever so vaguely remember the first day that he worked, and I can remember that I didn't really think he was anyone special. Just another new person who may only last a few months (how wrong I was). Everyone else seemed drawn to him and he formed many quick friendships with my coworkers, but for me I think it took a little longer. Quick friendships aren't usually my forte. I'm much to introverted for that. I can't remember much until a few months later when I remember him making a comment, something about how he liked working with me, and I remember that comment pretty much making my night, but I still didn't really make any connection. That was probably the beginning of our friendship, at least for me. Between that day (perhaps it was last January?) and this past summer, all I can really remember is talking and joking around at work and the occasional facebook conversation.
     I think this past summer is when I really started to consider the fact that he didn't feel like just a friend to me. Our group of friends at work began to do more things together, things like mini-golfing and going for ice cream and going to amusement parks. I began to pick apart the moments we spent together, trying to figure out if it was possible that he could be feeling any of the things that I was. Our friendship was growing, but I still didn't know if it had the potential to become anything more. I didn't really do much with these feelings I had for him, didn't tell anyone for fear it would get back to him, so I stuck to writing about them instead. Then, in August, the girl who I now consider to be one of my closest friends began to work with us. One day, completely nonchalantly, she asked me if I liked him. I was seriously taken aback, because I thought I'd been hiding it so well. It didn't take much prodding for me to admit it, and in the end it was a relief for another human being to know about it. The three of us (him, my best friend and me) had begun to hang out pretty regularly. She began telling me that she thought he liked me too, in fact that she was almost positive of it. I tried to brush this off, thinking she was just saying it to make me feel better. Not wanting to get my hopes up. Then about a month ago that wonderful girl sat the two of us down and said, though perhaps not in so many words, "You two like each other, and I'm sick of watching it."
     Once we both realized the truth, it didn't take long from there. It's been a little over a month now. He makes me smile every day. We're taking things slowly but we couldn't be happier. It makes me feel all mushy just writing this down. And wow, that was crazy long. I guess I just needed to write it all out. If you've made it this far, I commend you.
♥♥Kristin

Handwritten Everything

I don't know what it is, but something about the action of hand writing anything - be it a journal entry or a study guide - is downright therapeutic for me. Maybe it's the concise motions of forming each letter with the tip of my pen, or maybe it's the satisfaction of seeing lines of neat, orderly words marching on. Probably some of both. I'll admit, I really pride myself on my handwriting. I think it's very neat and looks rather pretty. I'm often complimented on it. I think it's one of the things that calms and comforts me the most. The simple act of writing helps me to clear my head, to focus on what's in front of me and to let go of my frustrations. I prefer it to typing any day. If I could hand write my blog posts, believe me, I would. There's just something about it.
♥♥Kristin

The Dream

I think everybody has one. It's that one dream that's always kind of in the back of your head, and no matter how irrational it may sound, no matter whether the chances of your achieving it are slim to none, it still just sits there. Maybe you pull it out every once in a while, just to admire, but you can never let it go. For me, that dream is a little bookstore/coffeeshop nestled in between the post office and the dog groomer on a sunny tree lined street. I can smell it: the rich aroma of coffee mingling with that unmistakeable, slightly sweet scent of new books. I can see it: the round tables with comfy chairs and a fireplace in one corner. The shelves of books, new and used, a rainbow of spines. The sunset streaming in through the windows making warm blocks on the wood floor. I can hear the soft chatter, the whisper of book pages, the clattering and foaming of hot drinks being prepared. I know it'll never happen, but that doesn't mean I'll stop dreaming it. It's not so much that I'm hoping it'll come true as it makes me happy to picture. What's your favorite dream?
♥♥Kristin

When the Words Don't Come

Do you ever have days or weeks or even months like that? Where you sit at the computer or with a notebook in front of you and there are so many words inside of you but not one of them can make its way from your brain to your fingers? I've been struggling with it for a few weeks now. There are so many emotions roiling around in my head, so many different thoughts flitting from here to there, but not one of them will form itself into a short concise paragraph. As the ever-brilliant John Green said through Augustus Waters, "My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations." There are really so many things I'd like to say, the only problem is that I just can't put my finger on how to say them.
♥♥Kristin

Where You Find Yourself

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 I find myself so many different places. In the dog-eared pages marking my favorite spots of my favorite books. In the stacks of dusty journals with my twelve-year-old scrawl under my bed. In the small chip on the handle of my favorite coffee mug. In the smudges on the screen of my laptop. In the small man made of twistie ties hanging from the rear view mirror of my car. In the small stain on the sleeve of my favorite sweater. Each of these things and more is a reflection of me, who I was at a certain time in my life, and ultimately who I am today because of it. Sometimes I can't help feeling nostalgic about even the smallest things. Where do you find yourself?
♥♥Kristin